Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
