I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
