Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
