You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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