Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize