Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
