i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
