He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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