never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
