Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
