Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
