I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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