Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize