Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
