lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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