so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
