Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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