I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
