last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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