D3 body, D1 cock
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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