I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
