Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
