I accidentally burped into my bong.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize