arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
