i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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