can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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