I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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