its not stalking. its research.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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