if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
