Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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