I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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