Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
