i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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