I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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