I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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