i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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