Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
