Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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