love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Are we still banned from the library?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
