She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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