repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
