My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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