she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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