Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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