like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
