Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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