also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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