paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I think my fart just growled at me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
