i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
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just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
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I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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