Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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