im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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