No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
