She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Shame - the story of my life.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
