two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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