That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
