I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
