"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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