I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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