He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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